Give blood. Play hockey.
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The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who have tattoos, and those who are afraid of people with tattoos.
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I've never been skydiving, but I have zoomed-in on Google Earth really fast.
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I like rumors. I find out so much about me that I didn't even know!
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Seek respect, not attention. It lasts longer.
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Hockey is figure skating in a war zone.
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Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies.
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Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
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Don't lend money to friends -- it causes amnesia.
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Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.
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The man who stops advertising to save money is the man who stops the clock to save time.
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A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're home.
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If shopping doesn't make you happy, then you're in the wrong shop.
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We lose ourselves in books. We find ourselves there too.
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Vacation: a period of travel and relaxation when you take twice the clothes and half the money you need.
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Reputation is made in a moment. Character is built in a lifetime.
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Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger issues, anxiety, a love for alcohol and a serious dislike for stupid people. But not lemons.
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A hypocrite is one who sets good examples only when he has an audience.
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My only hobby is laziness, which naturally rules out all others.
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Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
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