OSCAR LEVANT QUOTES II

American pianist, actor, & comedian (1906-1972)

It proves that no man can be a success in two national pastimes.

OSCAR LEVANT

comment upon learning Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe were divorced, The Gigantic Book of Baseball Quotations

Tags: Joe DiMaggio


You know the only reason I'm appearing here is there's no more beds in the mental institution.

OSCAR LEVANT

The Jack Paar Tonight Show


An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.

OSCAR LEVANT

Coronet Magazine, September 1968


Strip the phony tinsel off Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

OSCAR LEVANT

Inquisition in Eden

Tags: Hollywood


It's not what you are, it's what you don't become that hurts.

OSCAR LEVANT

ad-lib line, Humoresque


Tell me, Mrs. Wright, does your husband interfere with your marriage?

OSCAR LEVANT

Humoresque

Tags: marriage


I remember when he was given the manuscript of a novel written by a woman friend who had hopes of having it published. To his astonishment it turned out to be the dirtiest, most pornographic book he had ever read. When the lady mentioned that she intended to use a nom de plume, Ira suggested she call herself Henrietta Miller.

OSCAR LEVANT

about Ira Gershwin, The Unimportance of Being Oscar